Tag: #lifeandwheelchairs

by C.C. Hasty, posted in Blessed, Dreams, God Is Good, Mom, Prayer, Uncategorized

Yesterday I experienced one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, in front of customers nonetheless. I don’t usually cry, but yesterday the tears just wouldn’t stop. 

I have been praying ceaselessly for God to give me direction on what I should do with my store, Vintage. It takes time to establish a business in a new location and because of the accident we simply don’t have the capital we need to sustain it. My husband’s auto repair business just isn’t making the funds to provide for itself and our family so their has been added pressure for Vintage to provide an income, which it has not been able to do. 

This weekend was a make it or break it opportunity. We would either make enough money to get ahead or we wouldn’t. I poured everything I had in to it. As it is only myself and my assistant, we worked tirelessly in the heat preparing for the RC Moon Pie Festival in hopes that we would have a profitable weekend. My body aches like it hasn’t in years. 

In the meantime, I have also been seeking a job. There are many reasons why this wasn’t my favorite choice, but the most important reason is I will be unable to be with my family. For me to make any type of money, I will have to take a job in Nashville or somewhere equivalent. This means leaving home at 6am and returning at 6 or 7pm. I will not be able to take our boys to the doctor. Pick Jackson up from school when he isn’t feeling well, which happens a lot. I will also not be able to continue writing my book. As luck or fate would have it, I was offered a job on Friday in Nashville, while preparing for this make it or break it weekend. 

Sometimes God answers us, and it isn’t always what we want to hear. That embarrassing moment was the final nail in the coffin so to speak. My heart simply cannot continue to take that type of embarrassment or disappointment. I can’t continue to strive to do what I love while not being able to provide for my family. Right now we need money more than my children need me. 

I know some think that this is a road block and there will be new beginnings. You can take it to the bank, but there will not be for me. That was my one leap of faith to follow my dream, there will not be another. My heart simply cannot handle it. When this door closes, it will not open again. 

Someone made a comment on my post about how blessed I am. I should remember that I have my children and a husband who loves me. Yes, I am beyond blessed to have my children and thank God for them every single day. But there has been so much more heartache in my life that most couldn’t begin to imagine. I know that God is using me to help others, but I pray that people also remember that in order for me to have this voice and and this level of faith, it has taken insurmountable pain and a lifetime of experiences to earn it. Not just from the accident, but even as a little child. 

I am not perfect. I wish I could be positive and uplifting while I give up the one dream I have ever had the courage to go after. Right now, all I can feel is heartache and sadness. I know that God has a purpose and a plan for my boys. For them I would do or give up anything. And I am, but it doesn’t mean that my heart enjoys making sacrifices. I will do my best to process this as best I can and overcome as I always have, and I know that God will help me through. I just ask that if you can, say a prayer for me in the meantime. 

Love and blessings, 

C.C. Andrews 

Fear Equals More Fear

by C.C. Hasty, posted in Blessed, Discrimination, God Is Good, Mom, Uncategorized, Wheelchair

A news article released today by CNN shows a video of a police officer using a taser on a 17-year-old boy until he went into cardiac arrest. Have you ever watched something that makes you so mad you want to punch a hole into a wall? Yep, I was that mad. I have spent time thinking about why this video caused such a violent reaction in me. There are several….

First, this boy is white. Why does this make me mad? Because this story simply won’t get the media attention as most others do. The truth is, had this boy been black or of any other race, this story would be all over social media and crammed down our throats. That is just the simple truth.

You can argue that the boy was resisting arrest. I don’t believe that to be the only truth. He asked repeatedly why he was being arrested. No response or explanation from the officer. When is it ever okay to treat another human this way? To use a taser on them and then throw them onto a concrete sidewalk? Not a black boy. Not a white boy. A human. I believe had the officer explained to him why he was asking him to get out of the car, the outcome could have been much different. It is human nature to defend ourselves. You can argue that the boy should have just gotten out of the car, and I agree. I also believe that the media has taught our youth to fear police officers. And the more stories like this that receive media attention, the worse it will get. It is a vicious cycle.

We have created a world where people are afraid of police officers, those who are dedicated to help and serve us. Yes, I believe that some police officers are corrupt and should go to jail. Some of them have been granted power and authority they should never have had. But I also believe that those “bad apples” are the minority. There are “bad” people in every single ethnic background, gender, race, religion, etc. But not all should pay for the sins of a few.

The media will continue to highlight and focus on discrimination. People will become more and more afraid of police officers, and fear begets fear. Police officers will be in fear of getting sued or put in jail, therefore affecting their job performance. And really, can you blame them? Would you want to risk your life for the pay that they earn? Would you want to work in constant fear of being sued or spending your life in jail?

So why did this story cause such a reaction of anger in me? Simple. I have two older children, ages 21 and 18. I have talked to them many times about this very thing and how they should respond and react. I don’t care if they know their rights or what the law is, just do what the officer tells you to. Period. Do not give them the opportunity to hurt you. Because at the end of the day, knowing your rights isn’t going to keep you alive. Causing the officer to become defensive isn’t going to help your cause. Do everything right so that when it goes wrong you know you did everything in your power to prevent it.

Both of my boys are “brown”. Their ethnic background should be irrelevant, but it isn’t.  Does it cause me to fear what could happen if they were pulled over? You bet your ass it does. In every possibly way.

I remember going to a race with my oldest son and his black friend. He leans in close to me and says, “Mom, I am not sure we should stay.” He explained to me that everyone was giving us dirty looks. Of course, I was went all momma bear daring someone to say something to my son. I paid money to be there and I was not going to let people run us out. But the truth was, it was the first time that I really understood what it felt like to be discriminated against for race on that level. I cannot begin to explain to you the way it makes you feel to be looked down on by that many people at one time. My heart ached for him and his friend. I have taught my boys to always do what is right, and to never use racism as an excuse to stop from them from doing anything they want to do, but my heart grieves for them because I know they will always have to deal with discrimination.

The last accident that Alex was in, the officer didn’t even bother to ask my son if he was okay. Didn’t ask if he needed medical attention. He only showed concern and offered politeness to the woman who hit my son. Why do I think that was? Because he assumed my son was a reckless teenage hispanic boy. He judged my son solely based on his skin color, gender, and age. I still sometimes contemplate filing a report, but won’t simply because I know there would be consequences and retaliation.

Will there be true equality in our lifetime? No. In our children’s lifetime. No. While the world is up in arms about transgender bathrooms, and folks that is a story for another day, we still haven’t addressed the issues that really matter. Whichever  Presidential Nominee that is elected into the White House isn’t going to fix it. Demonstrations with violence and hate isn’t going to fix it. The only thing that can fix it is Jesus. Yet our government continues to push Christianity into the background, when it needs to be put it in the foreground.

I know this is a controversial issue, so I will ask that everyone who comments please do so with civility. I love to hear others viewpoints and believe it is the only way to truly learn and grow, but let’s keep ’em PG y’all!

My beautiful boys:

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Love and blessings,

C.C.

 

Bill Collectors

by C.C. Hasty, posted in Blessed, God Is Good, Uncategorized, Wheelchair

I sometimes wonder if bill collectors think that I am lying about not having the money to pay them. Like, seriously…. I am totally making it up. I have a ton of money in the bank but I love that you call me 5 times a day as well as ALL of the other people calling to collect money. I totally pay my cell phone bill just so that I can converse on the phone with bill collectors ALL DAY LONG. You’re getting an attitude with me? Yeah, that isn’t going to magically produce the money to pay you either. By the way, threatening me by saying it will reflect on my credit score doesn’t scare me anymore. It can join all the others listed in alphabetical order.

Being business owners obviously has its benefits. We were lucky enough to be able to be with our boys after the accident, without fear of being fired from our jobs. There was also so many people who donated to the GoFund Me account. Had they not have done so, we would have lost everything. We wouldn’t have even been able to eat. Literally.

That money in large part was also used to do repairs to the house to make it wheelchair accessible for Jackson. So many promised to do things that they simply couldn’t or didn’t have the time to do. It ended up being a huge undertaking, especially financially.  I  seriously cannot express the amount of gratitude that our family has to those who gave when our family needed it the most. Without it, we wouldn’t have been able to make it.

The downside to being a business owner… you don’t make money when you can’t work. We didn’t work for almost half a year. And sometimes even when you do work, you still don’t make money. It is the nature of being self-employed. I tried to take on a full-time job the first of the year but realized very quickly that I was needed with my family more. There are just too many doctor appointments with Jackson and Alex to allow me to work full-time.

I used to be the type of person to never discuss financial matters with anyone. Now, why wouldn’t I share with those very people who gave and allowed us to stay in the hospital with our babies when so many other parents had to make the choice to leave their children to work?  And seriously, if someone wanted to judge us considering all that we have been through as a family, I wouldn’t want to be friends with them anyway.

I hate having to explain to bill collectors that we simply don’t have the money to pay them. I hate calling my husband to tell him that they turned the water off. Or that a notice is on the front door and if we don’t pay the electric within 24 hours, they are turning that off too. I used to have a great credit score. So being in this position now isn’t fun. We don’t chose to not pay bills. We just simply DON’T have it.

However, with all of that being said, I am also more thankful than I have ever been in my life. We may not be able to pay all of our bills, and we may lose everything yet. But our kids are still here and alive, and at the end of the day, that really and truly is all that matters. Amazing how almost losing the most precious gift God can give you puts things into perspective. And no matter how many collection calls I get, as long as the call isn’t to tell me that my boys have been in an accident, I will take them too.

So, if you are reading this and are one of those who simply can’t make ends meet, cut yourself some slack. Take a moment to remember what you do have to be thankful for.  No matter how broke we have been, our children have never been hungry. God will provide somehow, someway. He always does. Just hand it over to Him.

Love and blessings,

C.C.