It’s been a while since my last blog post. The main reason is I that I started working again full-time. Which was great for our finances, plus it helped me from going stir crazy. But not so great when trying to balance a new job, a family and still have time for “me”.
Two months ago God told me that my story wasn’t over yet. Amazing how He gives us glimpses into our future. I knew then that I would be facing another trial. Less than a week later I learned that I would have to have heart surgery, only two days before my 40th Birthday.
My left anterior descending artery was one hundred percent blocked. This is known as the widow maker because the survival rate is so poor. I’m a living walking miracle. It was only by the grace of God and because I listened to my heart that I am alive. God put doctors and nurses in my path that listened to my symptoms and took them seriously, despite my age.
I also recently decided to finally start sharing my story during speaking events. So, of course the devil would go on attack to shut me up! Trust me when I say that I allowed fear to hold me back from speaking for a very long time. I am not a public speaker. In fact, I get nervous just thinking about it. But I also know that this is something God has called me to do and He will give me the courage to step out in faith to do it.
And of course after I agreed to speak, I was told that I would be the featured speaker and only speaker at the First Baptist Church quarterly women’s meeting on March 5th and that there would be at least 150 to 200 women there. God would never ask me to do anything on a small scale 😂
Days after I agreed to speak, the Lord gave me my entire presentation in one sleepless night. I couldn’t sleep because I had to keep getting up to write down notes! And the other day as I once again allowed fear and doubt to creep in, God reminded me about those words I had written. As I sat down to read them, tears filled my eyes. Man this word is GOOD and could have only come from HIM. I’m reminded that the world doesn’t revolve around me and my wants and needs. It doesn’t revolve around my fears and trepidation’s. It revolves around Him and His greater purpose.
So, shaking voice and shaking knees, I WILL speak at this event and it WILL be an amazing word from God!
Love and blessings,
As we sat in the waiting room at Williamson County Medical Center, I looked back on the years that had lead us there. While playing football during Alex’s sophomore year, he tore his labrum. We also learned that he suffered from hip impingement. We always planned to have this surgery after he graduated high school so that he could continue to play sports. We just didn’t know at that point in time that he would end up having a wreck his senior year that would require multiple surgeries and alter the course of his life forever. There would never be any more sports for Alex.
And here we were, fixing to undertake another surgery that would take at least 6 months to heal. I couldn’t help but think that Alex had just now finally healed from all the other surgeries and hadn’t had any time to just be a normal teenage kid. I didn’t feel good about it, but he is 19-years-old. It is his body and his decision. I was ready to do whatever I needed to do to help him heal from this surgery.
All the way to the hospital Alex was extremely anxious. I knew that something was wrong, but like any other teenager, he would share it only when he was ready. This wasn’t his first time having surgery, but any other surgery he was absolutely ready. This time was different.
As we sat in the waiting room to go back to pre-op, patient after patient was taken back. Still, we waited. Alex grew more and more anxious. Finally, he looked at me and said, “What do you think about just leaving?” I had spent weeks trying to convince him to hold off on surgery and here he was suggesting leaving? I thought he was joking at first. When I realized he was serious, my heart jumped with hope. He explained that he didn’t feel going through with surgery was a good decision. God was telling him not to do it. That was all I needed to hear! We told the nursing staff that Alex had changed his mind and we bailed! We both left feeling like we had lost 100 pounds of weight off our shoulders.
I knew in my heart that this surgery wasn’t a good idea. Everything that had led up to this day had pointed towards not doing it. Scheduling it had been difficult to begin with. We had left message after message for the scheduler and it took weeks before she returned the message. The day before surgery, the surgeon’s office realized they didn’t have the referral from the correct doctor and we spent hours trying to fix it. We finally received the referral only 30 minutes before it was too late. Then, we had to wait while watching patient after patient being taking back for surgery, each time leaving us alone in the waiting area. These hurdles were God giving Alex more time to listen to Him.
I am so proud that I have a son who listens to his heart and what God is telling him. I don’t know what would have happened if Alex had the surgery. But, I know in my heart it was something that God didn’t want us to do, and I am so thankful that Alex listened. I am praying that Alex has the best summer he has ever had this year!
Love & blessings,
Family pictures with my bunch is always an ordeal. Trying to get everyone together at one place at the same time, without some other activity going on, is a nightmare. If outdoors, and ours always are, weather can force you to reschedule over and over again. You have to make sure everyone has clean clothing to wear, and that’s only after you have finally decided just what everyone is going to wear to begin with. And try taking a family picture with 5 boys! None of which likes to take pictures and grumbles about it the entire time. By the time you leave the house with what you hope are clean boys in clean clothes and brushed hair, you are about ready to pull all of yours out!
Since I don’t ask for much, this is one of those things I usually have to put my foot down on. Plus, threatening them within an inch of their lives usually does the trick. As my book is in the process of being published and the editor wants a current family picture, this was one of those times they all just had to suck it up. **Can’t believe I just typed “my book and published” in the same sentence** The only pictures we have with most of the family together after the accident was at Alex’s graduation last year. Not only was Justin in Japan during that time, but Jackson mean mugged the camera for every single picture. Every. Single. Picture. So, it was definitely time for a new family picture!
The editor needed the photo by the end of the week. Luckily, it was finally a beautiful day to take family pictures yesterday. By the time we all arrived at 6:30pm, my nerves were stretched to their breaking point. I just hoped that Kristy with Sweet Memento Photography would be able to capture at least one picture with everyone smiling. Isn’t it funny how sometimes when we are knee-deep in family gatherings or activities, we can only think about when its going to finally be over?!?! We forget sight of what is really most important. My family being together is what is most important, not taking the perfect family picture. So don’t feel jealous of those perfect family pictures you think everyone else has. Most likely, their family was just as frustrated behind the scenes of that perfect picture as I was yesterday.
As the sun was setting, she suggested the four boys that were in the accident face the sunset together. It was a surreal moment. Seeing them standing there instantaneously made me realize: they were all together! We were all together as a family! There were so many times that I wondered if that would ever be a true statement again. Once again, God reminded me when I was frustrated beyond my limitations, that I always have something to be thankful for: my family, not the perfect picture of my family!
Love & Blessings,