I received the official paperback copy of my book today. I had seen the digital proof before approving it, of course. But I had not actually held the book in my hands until today.
As I opened the package, I couldn’t breathe. My hands shook, and when I pulled my book out of the cardboard package, I wasn’t prepared when the water works began.
I knew the book was officially published, so that wasn’t it. I also knew that I had put myself and my family out there for the world to see. I had shared private moments of our family that until now, no one ever knew. I had poured my heart and soul into this book and was as raw and honest as a person could absolutely be. And now, everyone who read it would know my deepest secrets. I had already had a “come to Jesus” (literally) about sharing myself with perfect strangers, yet decided to risk it all and trust in God. I was no longer afraid for people to learn the real me, so that wasn’t it either.
It was the countless nights of staying up late writing. The hundreds of hours spent laboriously typing word after word. All of the second guessing I did. Prayer after prayer, trying to convince God that I wasn’t the right person for this job, all the while Him assuring me that I was. The emotions came from all of the battles I had to face to finally hold this book, my book, in my hands. I had done it. Despite everything, I had actually made it to the finish line, just like God said I would.
Love & blessings,
C.C. Hasty Andrews