Yesterday we were at the point of taking Jackson back to Vanderbilt. He literally could not stop coughing. I was diagnosed with a sinus infection and was afraid his had turned into one too. Seems like no biggie, but Jackson’s lungs are comprised due to his spinal cord injury. A sinus infection and congestion can quickly lead to pneumonia.
Lately, God has reminded me of the faith I used to have. Some of you are thinking, “Used to have?” You see, I believe in laying hands on the sick. I believe in speaking in tongues. I believe in angels and demons. I believe in dancing and shouting and praising a God that has Saved me. Some call it Pentecostal. Some may even call it crazy. Somehow along the way I lost it. It’s not that I stopped believing, I just lost my fire for God. Let’s be honest, we all lose our way at different moments in our lives. Something happens and we pull back from God, even without realizing it. It can be something traumatic, like losing someone you loved. Or something simple as being busy in your day to day life.
So last night as I was desperate for Jackson to feel better, I immediately thought, “I need to ask our friends on Facebook to pray for him.” And God said, “You do it.” But….. it takes lots of prayers! Not just my prayer. It takes an army of prayer warriors. I am a simple mom. My faith isn’t enough. “Yes, it is.” Don’t you love how we sometimes argue with God? Cause surely I am not the only one who does this, right?!?
So I did what God told me to do, I laid my hands on him and prayed aloud for his healing. I felt God move through me. Even then I didn’t believe that Jackson would be healed. Not that I don’t believe in God, or His miraculous healing. I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t believe that my faith was strong enough. That I was good enough for God to use. But God only needs the faith of a mustard seed.
I’m sure you all know where this is going. Jackson WAS healed. And not later. Not the next morning. IMMEDIATELY. This baby had coughed every single minute for two days straight. He coughed the entire time I was praying for him. The minute my hands left his body, he stopped. He has not coughed a single time since.
God had to make me see that yes, I am good enough. I am more than enough. I am His child. My faith, even when it feels small and helpless, is enough, because it isn’t me that has the power to do anything. I never did and never will. It is Him. And as long as we believe in Him, He can and will do amazing things through us. We just have to step out in faith and let Him take the lead.
Love and blessings,