I have spent the past couple of days planning for Jackson’s surgery and Alex’s graduation. How can one do both emotionally and not be a basket case? The answer is simple: by the grace of God.
9 months ago our boys were life flighted to Vanderbilt. We didn’t have time to clean the house, make sure the laundry was done, the pets were taken care of. Pack bags. In fact, for several days we only had the clothes on our backs. After multiple surgeries and several months later, we were all finally home together. This time, Jackson’s surgery is planned. We know how long the recovery should take. We are not naive to be oblivious to the possibility of complications. Of course we are not happy that he has to be put to sleep and cut open again. But we don’t have a choice. We knew from the beginning that the surgeons were creating surgical hernia’s that would someday need to be repaired. We didn’t care. We wanted him to live. As much as we worry for him, we also know that God is the one in control. I say it all the time I know, but it is so very true. Since that day on the side of the road I have learned that He is always in control, not I. It isn’t ideal for my husband and I to miss a week or two more of work, but God provided for us before, and I have to believe He will do so again.
While planning to be in the hospital with Jackson, I have also been planning for Alex’s graduation. I still can’t believe he is old enough to graduate. He is my baby. He has had to overcome so many obstacles this year to make this happen. More than most adults ever experience in a lifetime. I am so very proud of who he has become. I was amazed at the strength he had during and after the accident. His love for his brothers and people in general. His heart is so very pure and true. Last week he met with Pastor Randy and I could see God working and putting everything together. He has a purpose and I know that he will do mighty things for the kingdom of God. And so does he. I can’t wait to see it.
I am not a basket case because I am blessed. I am blessed that my son, despite every opportunity to throw up his hands and give up, will be graduating high school. I am blessed because our boys are alive, and even though Jackson has to have surgery, we know that he will be okay. No matter how bad my day is, I can always look back on what I experienced on August 16, 2015 and find hope and gratitude in God for what He did then and continues to do. He really is an awesome God.
Love and blessings,