Author: C.C. Hasty

We rushed to the hospital, not knowing what we would discover when we arrived. As we pulled into the parking lot, we saw a helicopter coming in for landing. At the time, we didn’t know which child it was. My mother-in-law called to ask me what I needed her to do. I told her to be there with my husband and to not let him out of her sight. My husband later exclaimed, “So that is why I couldn’t ever shake her!” Alex, who turned 18 a week before the accident, was being taken to the adult hospital while our 3 youngest boys were taken to Children’s. I couldn’t be in both places at the same time and I struggled with this over the next few weeks. My phone became my lifeline between both hospitals.

Have you ever gotten hurt but was afraid to look at it to see how bad it really is? That is exactly how I felt while being taken back to see Alex. I needed to see him for myself, to know that he was okay, but the fear was overwhelming. You keep telling yourself that you can do this. You are strong. The truth is you don’t have a choice. It is like walking face first into your biggest fear. When I first saw him my heart exploded with relief and fear, all at the same time. I could see that he had badly broken bones. He was covered in blood and had almost bit his tongue in half. His vitals were all over the place. We were told to wait in the hall as they performed x-rays. The sound of his screaming tore through me. It is a sound that I will never forget. I will admit that I actually ran from the sound. I just couldn’t do it, not yet. Your new best friend is the surgeons as they come to deliver new information. I have always been the mom who was nervous when my children were sick. Why do they have a fever? Can the doctor not give them something to feel better? What do you mean we just have to let it run its course? In this instance, I was on board with whatever it took to mend his body. Surgery? How fast can we do that?

During this time I was receiving updates on the boys by phone as my husband and his family were allowed to see them. Joshua had a severe laceration to his face and a broken leg. Jacob had multiple broken bones.I kept asking about Jackson. “We haven’t been allowed to see him yet.” Finally, my mother-in-law called. Jackson was being rushed into emergency surgery. They believed he had internal injuries and a possible spinal cord injury. My knees hit the hospital floor right there in the emergency room. Not Jackson. This cannot be happening. It was like a mantra playing over and over in my head. This was one of the only two times I actually fell to my knees.

As soon as Alex was transported to the trauma unit, I ran to the Children’s Hospital. Literally. This route would be made over and over throughout the next few weeks. I was taken back to see Jacob and Joshua. They were both black and blue from head to toe. Joshua’s entire face was swollen and bleeding. Jacob had severe lacerations and broken bones everywhere. They were both heavily medicated but able to talk to us. This was the first time I was able to witness just how strong and brave our boys were. Jacob tried to make jokes with me. Joshua refused pain medication. To this day, I am overwhelmed with pride at strong our boys are.

All of the family met in a conference room. It was there that P.J., my husband, announced that he wanted to make it clear that there would be no blaming Alex, and anyone who done so could leave the hospital. He explained to them that it was just an accident.  I hadn’t even considered that people would think this until that moment. People even commented on Facebook and private messaged me in the weeks following the accident asking me who was at fault for the accident. Hinting towards the other driver being under the influence. We later even heard that there was a rumor going around that Alex was on drugs while driving. To make it clear now, Alex was completely sober per the mandatory drug test that was he was given at the hospital. The family in the other vehicle are wonderful Christian people who followed the progress of our boys with continued prayer. It was an accident. One that could not be avoided and simply happened.

As he was coming home and only 10 minutes from our house, the back tire of his vehicle hit a gravel patch on the inside of a curve, which caused his vehicle to hydroplane. The oncoming SUV, seeing his vehicle hydroplane, took the ditch out of instinct. They actually met head on in front of someones yard, not on the road. Alex was driving under the speed limit and did absolutely nothing wrong. They were all wearing seat belts. He was not on his phone or distracted. As I said earlier, the warm weather and earlier rain created the perfect cocktail for slippery roads. My husband and I slid all over the road on the way to the scene of the accident. In order to get traction accelerating from a stop sign, my husband would have to press the gas, let up and press it again. In no way could Alex have avoided this accident.

Even knowing this, I knew my son would hurt for a long time. Alex has always been my child who loved everyone. Defended those weaker than him. His heart is tremendously huge, and with that comes a sense of responsibility and burden. I was to learn that no matter what we said or did, this was something that God intended him to work through on his own. As a mother, we want to shelter, protect and defend. We want to fix the boo-boos and make everything in their life okay. It was hard for me to accept that I couldn’t heal his heart. Only God could do that. This was Alex’s part of the journey, and God was and is molding him into the man he will become.

All the way to the scene of the accident I prayed. I prayed that God would protect my boys. That He would help me to stay calm and to know what to do. I prayed that He would help me understand the purpose and reason for this. I didn’t have to see the car or my kids to know it was bad. When you are told that they are all four pinned in the vehicle, you know that it’s bad. So all I could do is pray for what was to come.

When we first arrived to the scene, I ran as fast as I could to get to the vehicle. Time slows down. Time speeds up. There is no way to explain it so that the human brain can understand. You have a thousands thoughts in your head, all at one time. Your senses become hyper focused. I took in the scene in a simple moment of time. I couldn’t get close to my kids. I knew that to do so would be a distraction to the paramedics trying to rescue them from the vehicle. I felt such a helplessness that I had never even imagined could exist. I knew we needed prayers, and the fastest way to get the word out? Social media. I knew some would think that I was insane for taking the time to take a picture to post on Facebook. The truth is, time was all I had. I posted a picture of the scene with a caption that read, “Please pray hard.” The crazy part is…. I hated the way that sounded in that moment but my mind couldn’t come up with anything better. Grammar went flying out the window and my mind could only think in small bursts.

Imagine looking at vehicle with your kids screaming inside of it, begging for help, and being unable to do a single thing. You can’t hold their hand, comfort them, or tell them it will be okay. Because you honestly don’t know. Imagine trying to evaluate the damage to the vehicle and trying to prepare yourself for which of them might not make it. I remember thinking that Jacob would probably be the one most critical because he was on the passenger side in the front. I saw Jackson, and since there was no blood and his eyes were open, I was grateful because I thought he would be okay. I was the most afraid for Jackson on the way to the scene because he is so small. He is the baby of the family. I knew there was the possibility of internal injuries, but my mind refused to process anything except what I could visually see right then. I started living second to second and in the “now” on the side of that road and from that moment forward.

Josh was extracted first. 1 down, 3 to go. “Hurry!” is all I could think over and over in my head. “Get them in the helicopters. What is taking so long?!” I noticed a woman by the other vehicle with her arms outstretched towards the car my boys were in. That is where I needed to be. By someone who had enough sense to be praying. I didn’t know her. It didn’t matter. I went close to where she was and kneeled in the grass and prayed. It was there, with my knees pressed into the grass and dirt, that I received an overwhelming peace. “I have this” God whispered to me. “There is a purpose and a plan for this.” I knew that the road would be long and my faith would be tested over and over, but I never lost that peace. In the midst of surgeries yet to come, days when I wasn’t sure which one of my babies might die, I always knew that God had a plan. As a mother, we seem to think that we are in control. If our children succeed, it is our doing. If they fail, their failures are ours too. If they are smart, well behaved, and respectful – we think we too have accomplished this. It is our duty when the nurses hand us this swaddled newborn at the hospital to take them home and keep them alive and safe. The truth is, the only one in control is God. My children are His children. He loves them more than even I could ever imagine. His plan for their lives supersedes mine.

One by one they were extracted from the car. I heard Alex only scream one time, “Please get my brothers out of this car.” My heart broke for him because in that moment because I realized the emotional battle he would have to face. To this day I am amazed at the instinct to protect and nurture this son of mine had. His first and only thought was for his brothers. He wasn’t initially trapped in the car. He shifted his broken leg and broke it worse trying to reach his brothers in the back seat to remove debris that was on top of them. He comforted his 12 year old brother by continuing to talk with him and patting him with his shattered arm. Not until all of his brothers were out of the vehicle did he finally allow himself to scream from the pain he was in. His first instinct when they crashed was to pray to God. He prayed for God to remove their pain, and He did. Alex later told us everyone in the car became pain free and peace settled around them. I cannot begin to express how proud I am of him. I later learned also that as the car was hydroplaning God spoke to him and told him not to be afraid, that they all would live.

Alex was the last to be extracted from the car. A paramedic walked up to me and told me to run. Literally. He said that what they were fixing to do would cause Alex to scream worse than even I could ever imagine. If it were him and his child, he would want someone to warn him. I did the only thing I could do…. I ran.